I revisited an old journal from 2005 which greatly encouraged me to continue journaling. I appreciate being able to look back and see what the Lord has taught me (and what I have forgotten that He taught me).
It took me hours of trying to be still to hear God. I read from Streams in the Desert about someone's struggle to block out the noise and be still. It's not easy. I fell asleep. I was interrupted by three phone calls. The neighbors seemed to be restless--but so was my spirit. I said, 'Lord, I can't find you. Where are you? Speak to me.' I kept wanting to speak for Him. After hours, I got on my knees in utter defeat, hunger, and frustration. I pictured myself hiding in the shadow of His wings. I began to feel warmth and comfort. I feel that He wants me to know 'I will take care of you.' Thank you, Lord.
Without the Lord, everything is wrong. With the Lord, as I read His word, it all begins to melt away. My worries, that is, seem to fade into the background. My need for perfection, and distress by the lack of, is dissolved. As I read God's word, I see what is really important. His holiness outshines the idiosyncrasies. He changes my attitude.
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