The Barf Cake

I should try something new in 2012:  following a recipe! 

Mistake #1:  I had a package of marshmallows which needed to be used.  I bought a yummy chocolate cake mix which I prepared according to the instructions.  I took the cake out 10 minutes early and scattered the fluffy mallows across the top of the cake.  I cooked the cake for 10 more minutes to allow the marshmallows to melt.  It looked okay when I took it out with the exception of the crusty sides.  I finished getting ready for the New Year's Eve party I was attending, as usual, not leaving myself much time to get ready.  I for some reason strayed from my usual chocolate icing and had purchased the coconut pecan icing (which is brown and chunky) commonly used for German chocolate cakes.  The instructions said to allow cake to cool completely before icing, and it was only a tad warm.  As I began to apply the icing, some of the marshmallow oozed up in spots creating a most disgusting globby mess.  I decided I would cut it in pieces and place it on paper plates so that I would not have to go back at the end of the party and claim a baking dish--no one would know I was responsible for the barf cake.  However, the pieces kept falling apart.  I gave up on the barf cake after throwing the pieces back in the pan and shoving the lid on.  

Below is a picture of the lovely cake.

Mistake #2:  I am going to a party.  I must bring something, I thought. I've learned that it is better to show up empty handed than with a pitcher of sugar-free apple cider that is too strong.  It was a strangely warm December night and no one wanted any cider anyways. 

The irony:  A girl walked by the stove about 10 minutes after I had put the cider on the burner.  She pointed out that the wrong burner was on. Oops.  Ironically this was the same girl who later caught the oven on fire.  She made a completely understandable mistake when she started the oven which was used for storage instead of the nonhazardous oven that was not underneath the stove.  This oven was filled with extra pots, pans and perhaps an oven mitt or towel--I couldn't tell when it was aflame.  

Mistake #3:  Although I recall from the Conversations in the Kitchen course I had taken years ago to always put your hair up when cooking, I failed to do so when making the barf cake.  I thought I would take the cake to work where they will eat anything.  My embarrassment was doubled when a fellow employee announced that there was a hair in the cake.  The teacher's lounge was full, and someone asked, "Who made that cake?"  The hair finder announced, "I don't know, but she has brown hair."  I turned red, clammed up and could not bring myself to claim the barf cake at that time.  Life has always presented humbling situations for me.  The next day I fessed up to the hair finder, and we had a good laugh.  It should be noted that the cake was entirely eaten by the staff.  Ha!

Is this how the Pioneer Woman started?  Probably not.